Korean Shrimp Frites with MSG (McSweeneys)

Korean Shrimp Frites with MSG
By Dakota Kim

Imagine this: You stroll into Koreatown at 32nd and Broadway and proceed to the HanAhReum Market, and there it is, looming down on you: the 5-pound bag, bigger than your kitty litter. It's fire-engine red with a red shrimp on the outside that looks like it's been radioactively cooked to a crisp. Maybe their intention is to strike fear into the heart of the average consumer, creating a dangerous allure. Whatever it is, the buyer is an adventurous soul.

At first, the frites taste conspicuously fishy and woefully engineered, as if a shipload of shrimp were dropped in the vat by accident. They're wheat-powdery, messy, salty, and, well, a kid in a moving vehicle's queasy junk-food nightmare. But after a couple bites, the MSG kicks in, and it's all smooth sailing from there. Every bite melts flakily in your mouth and you just can't get enough.

MSG used to scare me, but I've been tricking myself psychosomatically; now I like to think that the MSG might be a natural ingredient contained within the shrimp powder haphazardly sprayed like DDT across the innards of the shiny silver bag. Who's to know whether shrimp naturally produce MSG (just like tuna naturally produce mercury, according to the government)? Maybe shrimp just want to make themselves taste good because they're naturally altruistic beings.